To The Man After….

By now im sure you have realized that I am broken and that my life is a up hill battle. But i hope that you will except me and all of my many pieces. I hope that you can be patient with me while I am trying to find myself in this crazy life, I hope that you are accepting of my past all parts the good and the bad. I hope that you will equally Love my other set of parents the ones that where there during the most difficult times of my life. I hope you will stay understanding and forgiving because I tend to push people away when i get upset or depressed, I hope that you will Love me like I love you because when i love someone i tend to put all my energy into loving that ONE person. So i Pray that you will stay and not break me more than i am already broken..

But before we go on, there’s something you gotta know. About me. About you. About us.

It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone like this before. Not been with been with. But you know what I mean. Like this. I’m actually surprised that I can open up to someone again, to feel anything of this sort again. 

You might ask me why I say these things. But truth is, past heartbreak has taught me a lesson or two. I’ve seen a lot that I can’t unsee, experienced a lot of pain and craziness that I still carry with me to this day. Not that you’re going to be walking on eggshells – no, it’s going to be fun – I just want you to know that I’ve had a lot of time to work on myself as a complete individual.

 

If I first hesitate to make you my whole world, especially in the beginning, don’t get too mad. I’ve done so in the past and it usually blew up in my face. I probably won’t make you my entire world ever, because, well, I know better than that. You’re going to be a big part of it, yes, but I’m only going to show you who I really am in bits and pieces. Patience pays off.

I’m not with you because I think I need completing. I’m with you because you add to my well of existing happiness and wellbeing. I’m not with you because you make me question my value as an individual. I’m with you because you’re the only person who knows how much ass I kick as I do. And I probably think you kick just as much of it.

So don’t freak out when I challenge you, provoke you, push you beyond your limits. It’s only because I know the potential you have and want you to reach it. I’d only hope that you’d encourage me to do the same. This doesn’t mean I want you to change – no, if I wanted you to change, I’d be with someone else. The way I see it, we’re equals, best friends, a team, a partnership, constantly inspiring one another to do better, to be better.

Know that me choosing to dedicate myself to you at this point in my life, after all has been said and done, means that you’re pretty fucking special. And don’t you ever, ever question that.

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